Tumblr: JOSHUA BRAND FOR AUGUSTUS WATERS
Me: Is this an actor? Theatre? Films? Television? What’s he been in?
Tumblr: I DON’T KNOW JUST GOOGLE IMAGE HIM JOSHUA BRAND FOR AUGUSTUS WATERS
Me: Oh. I understand.
(I am not casting the movie. I repeat: I AM NOT CASTING THE MOVIE. I have about as much say in casting as you do. I don’t know who this person is. I do not know if he speaks English. ALL I KNOW IS THAT HELLO SIR NO NEED TO BUTTON UP THAT POLO.)
Photographer Lalage Snow takes pictures of soldiers’ faces before, during and after the war in Afghanistan.
Hey, bro, cool story.
DFTBA sells a bunch of shirts, and we market to ugly people and nerdy people and small people and big people and pretty people and we’re doing okay and plus we don’t need physical stores with LITERALLY THE WORST MUSIC EVER CREATED BY HUMANS PLAYING AT EAR-BLEEDING VOLUME SO THAT ALL OF YOUR PURPORTEDLY COOL AND BEAUTIFUL EMPLOYEES ARE MADE DEAF BY THEIR WORKING CONDITIONS.
So that’s another way of doing it.
Also I hate your jeans.
Butler has uploaded a video of my commencement address to the class of 2013, which one can’t help but notice…is longer than the 12 minutes I so confidently promised. I sort of quit working the last month and did nothing but write this speech, and I couldn’t even get the time right. (I guess I read a lot faster alone in my basement.)
I’d like to thank everyone who’s shared the speech, especially the Los Angeles Times, Publishers Weekly, Galleycat, and Entertainment Weekly.
If you’d prefer to read the speech, you can do so here.
I’ll be sharing all of the nerd factor winners here on tumblr in the next few days, but I want to begin with Ruby Day, a nerdfighter whose sea shanty/breakup song “A Little Seasick” is just straight up brilliant.
She had like 200 YouTube subscribes this morning. Let us increase that number.